by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Leeds ferret survives 100 minutes in washing machine”
—BBC

Old clothes make such a cozy place to doss,
Next to my humans’ reassuring scents—
Especially before a wash and toss:
That’s when inviting scents are most intense! …
One cycle starts. Door closing stops a draught.
Unfazed by wash and spin, I fall asleep,
Gyrating in a dream of shipwrecked craft
Hurled mightily upon the ocean deep …
Bent over me, a doctor shakes his head:
“A lung collapsed,” says he, “so I can give
No more than one per cent you’re not soon dead” …
Don’t underrate this ferret’s will to live!
I‘m one tough Bandit, and I know that I’m
The cleanest living ferret of all time!