by Julia Griffin

“My Octopus Teacher, heartwarming nature film, wins best documentary Oscar”
—The Guardian

O Octopus, my Octopus, how well you played your part:
You warmed each bivalve mollusk of the audience’s heart!
But some declared it—I don’t know—I fear the word was “gross,”
To see you on the dance floor bumping bottoms with Glenn Close.

It wasn’t lack of rhythm (they’ll have witnessed that before),
Or even the distracting squelch of suckers on the floor;
The problem was your timing: your panache is out of date;
Now Hollywood respects MeToo (and equally MeEight).