by Kathleen Naureckas
“The Democratic primary dropouts are coming a mile a minute now.”
—CNN
Remaining hopefuls on my Facebook feed
proclaim the many donations they need
so they can go to the Houston debate.
Why do they think I’d consider it great
to see two-times-ten once more in the crowd
attempting to speak, for crying out loud?
I’m grateful to Moulton and Ojeda
for helping to make the debates better.
Also Gravel, Inslee, Hickenlooper.
If more would follow, it would be super!
by Dan Campion
“Ugo Sansonetti . . . began running track in his 70s . . .”
—Obituary in The New York Times
I sing in praise of Ugo,
Who ran to championships
When most of us meet Pluto
Or need replacement hips.
He lived to be one hundred,
Won more than forty gold.
Sure, youthful footfalls thundered.
But Ugo’s rolled and rolled.
by David Hedges
I love locking kids in cages,
Cutting taxes for the rich,
Shrugging at starvation wages,
Branding forceful women “Bitch.”
I love ogling shapely buns,
Handing jobs to nincompoops,
Shielding creeps who carry guns,
Praising neo-fascist groups.
I love preaching to the flock,
Forcing farmers on the dole,
Spouting lies and double-talk,
Deepening the fiscal hole.
I love stiffing diplomats,
Blocking scans of tax returns,
Bashing left-wing Democrats,
Golfing while the planet burns.
by Paul Haebig
Joe Biden says, “Just ‘cause you’re poor
There’s no reason at all you can’t score
Just as high as a white.
You still can be bright!”
Would someone please show him the door?
by Alex Steelsmith
Razzamatazzio,
Mayor de Blasio
touts a big vision and
stands very tall,
even though odds of this
president-wannabe
winning the White House are
hopelessly small.
by Phil Huffy
“Elderly man survives on nothing but
Coca-Cola for 5 days after falling in home”
—New York Post
To the floor he tumbled
fearing help might never come,
sustained by Coca-Cola—
sadly though, in want of rum.
by Jerome Betts
“Now, the Trump administration has significantly weakened the
Endangered Species Act, a bipartisan 1973 law designed to
prevent the most threatened species from going extinct.”
—www.livescience.com
A US law, the ESA,
Preserves the grizzly bear,
Bald eagles, too—hurray! Hurray!—
No longer quite so rare.
Oh, may it sense, some happy day,
The world’s deep green despair
And function in reverse—yay! Yay!—
To doom the orange hair.
by David Hedges
McConnell threw a hissy fit—
A purple people-eating snit—
When hit with hashtag Moscow Mitch.
His triple chins began to twitch,
His washboard forehead swam in sweat.
He faced an existential threat
Of monumental magnitude.
He must have realized, “I’m screwed!”
Kentucky media agreed:
His fall is all but guaranteed.
“But-but—!” he sputtered, at a loss
To weasel from his double cross.
“Please listen to the voice of reason—
It only looks and feels like treason.”
by Alex Steelsmith
According to the Los Angeles Times, Marianne Williamson has stated that A Course in Miracles is “a complete system,” and every problem can be solved by consulting it.
Wonkety bonkety,
Marianne Williamson
knows how to deal with a
dark psychic force:
put the U.S. on a
government-mandated
self-transformational
Miracle Course.
by Chris O’Carroll
Republican state legislator Candice Keller of Ohio attributes mass shootings to “. . . homosexual marriage . . . recreational marijuana . . . professional athletes who hate our flag and National Anthem . . .”
News of another rifle assault—
More mourners weep, more victims bleed.
No way it’s a racist president’s fault.
Blame Kaepernick, queers, and legal weed.
by James Hamby
Kelly Knight Craft
Is rather daft
And hasn’t got a clue
About the policies of our nation
Or the global situation
And so in Trump’s mind she’ll do.
by Julia Griffin
“In [Yoko Ono’s] latest artwork, she is enlisting thousands of ordinary folk to ring in this year’s Manchester international festival with Bells for Peace, a massive participatory artwork…”
— The Guardian
Perform your part for peace,
Ye ordinary folk!
Make pacificity increase
With every booming stroke!
As those irenic peals
Convulse the airy spheres,
See! Baffled War falls back and reels,
Her fingers in her ears.
Just let that peaceful din
Serenely blast the skies,
And you’ll be guaranteed to win
The Ono Bell Peace Prize.
by Orel Protopopescu
“The alligator in the Humboldt Park lagoon has been dodging trappers for days…”
— ABC News
Who dumped poor “Chance the Snapper”
in Chicago’s Humboldt Park?
This immigrant keeps hidden,
preferring shades of dark.
But if he’s trapped by rat bait
or recordings of his kind,
where should he then be taken
to preserve his peace of mind?
He’d surely be much safer
in peaceful city parks
than in some Mar-a-Lago
where the pool is full of sharks.
by Chris O’Carroll
Freedom for trolls with their birther-style lies,
For loud anti-science conspiracy guys,
For tweetstorms that help keep America great
By telling God’s patriots who they should hate,
For Joy speaking out in her stars-and-stripes dress,
But not for that anti-Trump hit squad, the press.
by Marshall Cobb
“Bear breaks into car, butt-shifts vehicle and drives downhill.”
— KMGH, Boulder County, CO
Remember that old question
That’s puzzled man for years?
With claims on either side,
We’ve argued over beers.
This daring bear in Boulder
Has given us the goods;
At last, we’ve solved the riddle,
“Does a bear shift in the woods?”