by Jerome Betts
“Boris Johnson’s decision to prorogue
parliament is an unlawful abuse of
power, a Scottish court has heard in
the first of three legal challenges.”
—The Guardian
The mandateless one’s machination
Has brought an old term back in vogue
Aptly matching the whole situation,
A verb with the element rogue.
by Dan Campion
“NASA is sending a helicopter to Mars.”
—CNN
The gadget looks like Leonardo’s sketch.
I think he’d smile to see his notion stretch
Its rotors in another planet’s air,
Albeit not with full-scale gunship’s flair.
A chopper up surveying Ares’ lair
Might spy—who knows?—a page of H.G. Wells
Translated for the Martian generals.
by Chris O’Carroll
Those gay and transgender parades deviate
From bro dos and don’ts. They get way too ornate.
But we know the right way to march and to mate.
We step out with pride. Our red hats make us great—
The hats plus the fact that we’re totally straight.
Two things we like naked are hooters and hate.
by James Hamby
“President Trump has suggested multiple times to senior Homeland Security and national security officials that they explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes from hitting the United States…”
—Axios.com
A storm approaches Florida
And the quandary of each resident
Is whether to fear the hurricane
Or nukes from their own president.
by Jerome Betts
World temperatures are rising
And likewise soon the sea?
We must turn down our heating,
We must live carbon-free—
But, first, let’s all thank Denmark
For turning down the D.
by Kathleen Naureckas
“The Democratic primary dropouts are coming a mile a minute now.”
—CNN
Remaining hopefuls on my Facebook feed
proclaim the many donations they need
so they can go to the Houston debate.
Why do they think I’d consider it great
to see two-times-ten once more in the crowd
attempting to speak, for crying out loud?
I’m grateful to Moulton and Ojeda
for helping to make the debates better.
Also Gravel, Inslee, Hickenlooper.
If more would follow, it would be super!
by Dan Campion
“Ugo Sansonetti . . . began running track in his 70s . . .”
—Obituary in The New York Times
I sing in praise of Ugo,
Who ran to championships
When most of us meet Pluto
Or need replacement hips.
He lived to be one hundred,
Won more than forty gold.
Sure, youthful footfalls thundered.
But Ugo’s rolled and rolled.
by David Hedges
I love locking kids in cages,
Cutting taxes for the rich,
Shrugging at starvation wages,
Branding forceful women “Bitch.”
I love ogling shapely buns,
Handing jobs to nincompoops,
Shielding creeps who carry guns,
Praising neo-fascist groups.
I love preaching to the flock,
Forcing farmers on the dole,
Spouting lies and double-talk,
Deepening the fiscal hole.
I love stiffing diplomats,
Blocking scans of tax returns,
Bashing left-wing Democrats,
Golfing while the planet burns.
by Paul Haebig
Joe Biden says, “Just ‘cause you’re poor
There’s no reason at all you can’t score
Just as high as a white.
You still can be bright!”
Would someone please show him the door?
by Alex Steelsmith
Razzamatazzio,
Mayor de Blasio
touts a big vision and
stands very tall,
even though odds of this
president-wannabe
winning the White House are
hopelessly small.
by Phil Huffy
“Elderly man survives on nothing but
Coca-Cola for 5 days after falling in home”
—New York Post
To the floor he tumbled
fearing help might never come,
sustained by Coca-Cola—
sadly though, in want of rum.
by Jerome Betts
“Now, the Trump administration has significantly weakened the
Endangered Species Act, a bipartisan 1973 law designed to
prevent the most threatened species from going extinct.”
—www.livescience.com
A US law, the ESA,
Preserves the grizzly bear,
Bald eagles, too—hurray! Hurray!—
No longer quite so rare.
Oh, may it sense, some happy day,
The world’s deep green despair
And function in reverse—yay! Yay!—
To doom the orange hair.
by David Hedges
McConnell threw a hissy fit—
A purple people-eating snit—
When hit with hashtag Moscow Mitch.
His triple chins began to twitch,
His washboard forehead swam in sweat.
He faced an existential threat
Of monumental magnitude.
He must have realized, “I’m screwed!”
Kentucky media agreed:
His fall is all but guaranteed.
“But-but—!” he sputtered, at a loss
To weasel from his double cross.
“Please listen to the voice of reason—
It only looks and feels like treason.”
by Alex Steelsmith
According to the Los Angeles Times, Marianne Williamson has stated that A Course in Miracles is “a complete system,” and every problem can be solved by consulting it.
Wonkety bonkety,
Marianne Williamson
knows how to deal with a
dark psychic force:
put the U.S. on a
government-mandated
self-transformational
Miracle Course.
by Chris O’Carroll
Republican state legislator Candice Keller of Ohio attributes mass shootings to “. . . homosexual marriage . . . recreational marijuana . . . professional athletes who hate our flag and National Anthem . . .”
News of another rifle assault—
More mourners weep, more victims bleed.
No way it’s a racist president’s fault.
Blame Kaepernick, queers, and legal weed.