Dear Vladimir, my bosom buddy Vlad,
The Faux News media have found me out.
I fear my situation’s looking bad.
My re-election chances are in doubt.
I’ve danced whenever you have pulled my strings,
Turned allies into foes and foes to friends,
Stirred discontent at home, and other things.
Your rubles have paid handsome dividends.
I may request asylum—are you on?
Your faithful and devoted servant, Don
Dear Donald, Comrade Don as you prefer,
I take it you are seeking my support.
You’re found out as a phony—a poseur.
I’d like to help, but I’m a little short.
The world is being primed for Russian rule.
My oligarchs and I have work to do.
We’ll find another dupe who’ll play the fool.
Truth is, we have no further use for you.
No hair spray, dressed in orange—be of good cheer
In prison! Do svidaniya, Vladimir
“Boris Johnson’s decision to prorogue parliament is an unlawful abuse of power, a Scottish court has heard in the first of three legal challenges.” —The Guardian
The mandateless one’s machination
Has brought an old term back in vogue
Aptly matching the whole situation,
A verb with the element rogue.
The gadget looks like Leonardo’s sketch.
I think he’d smile to see his notion stretch
Its rotors in another planet’s air,
Albeit not with full-scale gunship’s flair.
A chopper up surveying Ares’ lair
Might spy—who knows?—a page of H.G. Wells
Translated for the Martian generals.
Those gay and transgender parades deviate
From bro dos and don’ts. They get way too ornate.
But we know the right way to march and to mate.
We step out with pride. Our red hats make us great—
The hats plus the fact that we’re totally straight.
Two things we like naked are hooters and hate.
“President Trump has suggested multiple timesto senior Homeland Security and national security officials that they explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes from hitting the United States…” —Axios.com
A storm approaches Florida
And the quandary of each resident
Is whether to fear the hurricane
Or nukes from their own president.
World temperatures are rising And likewise soon the sea?
We must turn down our heating, We must live carbon-free—
But, first, let’s all thank Denmark For turning down the D.
“The Democratic primary dropouts are coming a mile a minute now.” —CNN
Remaining hopefuls on my Facebook feed
proclaim the many donations they need
so they can go to the Houston debate.
Why do they think I’d consider it great
to see two-times-ten once more in the crowd
attempting to speak, for crying out loud?
I’m grateful to Moulton and Ojeda
for helping to make the debates better.
Also Gravel, Inslee, Hickenlooper.
If more would follow, it would be super!
Joe Biden says, “Just ‘cause you’re poor
There’s no reason at all you can’t score
Just as high as a white.
You still can be bright!”
Would someone please show him the door?
“Now, the Trump administration has significantly weakened the Endangered Species Act, a bipartisan 1973 law designed to prevent the most threatened species from going extinct.” —www.livescience.com
A US law, the ESA, Preserves the grizzly bear,
Bald eagles, too—hurray! Hurray!— No longer quite so rare.
Oh, may it sense, some happy day, The world’s deep green despair
And function in reverse—yay! Yay!— To doom the orange hair.
McConnell threw a hissy fit—
A purple people-eating snit—
When hit with hashtag Moscow Mitch.
His triple chins began to twitch,
His washboard forehead swam in sweat.
He faced an existential threat
Of monumental magnitude.
He must have realized, “I’m screwed!”
Kentucky media agreed:
His fall is all but guaranteed.
“But-but—!” he sputtered, at a loss
To weasel from his double cross.
“Please listen to the voice of reason—
It only looks and feels like treason.”
According to the Los Angeles Times, Marianne Williamson has stated that A Course in Miracles is “a complete system,” and every problem can be solved by consulting it.
Wonkety bonkety,
Marianne Williamson
knows how to deal with a
dark psychic force:
put the U.S. on a
government-mandated
self-transformational
Miracle Course.
