“Pluto May Have Captured Its Biggest Moon [Charon] After an Ancient Dance and Kiss… Some 4.5 billion years ago, the dwarf planet Pluto was suddenly joined by a companion. For a very brief period … they danced … before gently separating…” —The New York Times
Pluto’s face as rough as bricks, Charon left him for the Styx. Burma-Shave
Said he’d had enough of spooning, Turned his back and started mooning. Burma-Shave
When first kisses are abrasive, Lovers tend to be evasive. Burma-Shave
“Steve Bannon condemns Elon Musk as ‘racist’ and ‘truly evil'” —The Guardian
For once, I’m in agreement with Steve Bannon: He says that Musk is evil through and through, A racist, egomaniac loose cannon … The problem is, Steve Bannon’s evil too.
“The Common Good Awards 2025 are to businesses that “inspire philanthropy … by encouraging staff to go into the community to help people in need.” —Rhode Island Monthly
If your company is steering, Then there’s ample room for doubt That you’re truly volunteering— What’s the cost of opting out?
“Carbon atoms in our bodies travelled galaxies before returning on cosmic ‘conveyor belt’” —Manchester Evening News
Not only are we “star stuff” but We’re mass-produced, like cars! No wonder we find every rut, And each new speed bump jars. We’re quarried, sorted, sifted fine. “Conveyor belts” come next; We’re then assembled on the line. Born instantly perplexed, We roll down on the avenue, Run into scrapes and jams, And get recycled, when we’re through, As future models’ prams. From Henry Fords to Adam Smiths To Ra hand-crafting pharaohs, Our atoms circulate like myths And rocket like Pierce-Arrows.
“Dark Energy May Not Exist. … The truth could be much stranger— bubbles of space where time passes at drastically different rates. … ‘Dark energy is a misidentification […],’ says [physicist] David Wiltshire.” —Science Alert
Abracadabraca, famous dark energy might not exist? It’s a cryptic remark,
leaving the rest of us non-astrophysicists semi-ironically still in the dark.
“[Swedish] men are sadder when their wives earn more, study finds” —The Times
It’s just sickening to see That my wife earns more than me, How it makes me feel inadequate and small. To a modern macho male It’s a monumental fail, When a guy brings home less bacon than his doll.
Size does matter, that’s a fact. I deplore her lack of tact, As she shamelessly ascends the greasy pole. Can’t she see how I’m depressed That she wants to be the best? It’s distressing that she doesn’t know her role.
As I waste away my days, With no prospect of a raise, I reflect on the unfairnesses of life. In the whole of Scandinavia, Ain’t nobody gonna save ya From the sorrows of a high-achieving wife.
“Michelin-starred sushi restaurateurs the Onodera Group said they had paid 207 million yen on Sunday for [a 608 pound] bluefin tuna, roughly the size and weight of a motorbike.” —The Guardian
“A woman with no man,” we said, “is like … ” The motto seemed forgotten, but this year (Allowing for the upgrade of the bike) We’ve half of the ingredients right here.
“‘Santa Claus’ sarcophagus believed to be discovered during excavation project… The discovery was made at St. Nicholas Church in the Demre district of Antalya, Turkey, as part of an excavation initiated by Turkey’s Ministry of Culture and Tourism. The sarcophagus was found in the church’s two-story annex, which is believed to be the original burial site of Saint Nicholas, a bishop who lived in the ancient city of Myra during the fourth century.” —Fox News
’Twas the week before Christmas, and all round the tomb Stood cameras, ready for watchers on Zoom: An expert has pinpointed (pause for applause!) The last-known address of the Saint known as “Claus.” ’Tis he, who dropped dowries through chimneys, and froze False Arians out with profound Ho, Ho, Ho!s, Stopped famine, showed Nicaea’s Council the way, And dodged Diocletian with reindeer and sleigh. How splendid an Advent adventure to find The grave of this bishop, the best of his kind! And the tourism agencies own with a cheer That Christmas has come one week early this year.
