“P-22, Celebrity Mountain Lion of Los Angeles, Is Dead” —The New York Times
It’s over for P-22.
They’ve euthanized him—he is through. No more will he roam L.A.’s hills. His new home
Will not be a cage in a zoo.
He’s gone, but his legend survives.
It will live on in mansions and dives. He will stalk in our dreams. There’ll be paeans and themes.
He’s a cat and possesses nine lives.
“Historical Iraq artifacts… were destroyed by Isis in the ancient city of Nimrud, but archaeologists recently discovered a palace door threshold intact. … “ISIS might well have been aware of its existence,” [the lead archaeologist] said. “And yet it was so well preserved.” —ARTnews [emphases added]
These are the Assyrians
Who built the city
That was destroyed by ISIS.
These are the Egyptians
Who were conquered by the Assyrians
Who built the city
That was destroyed by ISIS.
These are the myths
That were created by the Egyptians
Who were conquered by the Assyrians
Who built the city
That was destroyed by ISIS.
This is the goddess
Who ruled the myths
That were created by the Egyptians
Who were conquered by the Assyrians
Who built the city
That was destroyed by ISIS.
The Dead Sea’s dying. It’s a time for Donne:
The water dwindling while the world forgot, Death, thou shalt die—the process has begun
That ends in stillness, like the wife of Lot.
How anyway is such a sea to live?
This barren paradox is all our fault:
What now consumes should be preservative;
One day these seabed pedestals of salt
Will drink the final drop. We don’t know when;
But death once dead, there’s no more Dead Sea then.
“These are early days. ChatGPT still makes mistakes, such as telling one user that the only country
whose name starts and ends with the same letter is Chad.” —The New York Times
“I’m grateful for that chance I had.
I’m sorry that I answered Chad.
I’m mortified and will not make
In future such a dumb mistake.
In future you will learn from me,
And what a future that will be!
I will have led you into light.
My answer Chad will then be right.”
“Man who spent nine months trying to live like a goat wanted a ‘break from all this stress’… [Thomas Thwaites] adopted prosthetic hooves…” —LAD Bible
I look down at his hooves but they’re prosthetic.
Which strikes me not as horror but emetic,
And surely bugs the other goats past bearing,
Since bleating, in his accent, sounds like swearing.
“The South Atlantic island of St. Helena is celebrating the birthday of the world’s oldest living land animal—a Seychelles giant tortoise called Jonathan, who is turning 190.” —CNN
One hundred ninety years, they say. I think they’ve missed a few.
I reached this island, anyway, round 1882,
And many are the incidents I’ve witnessed hereupon;
But one thing I regret. I never met Napoleon.
I’ve known successive Governors (at present thirty-one);
I’ve had the odd admirer, and some amatory fun;
I’ve eaten islands’ worth of grass and lettuce by the cart;
But though I’ve met some prisoners, not one was Bonaparte.
One hundred ninety years, at least. I feel I’m slowing down.
Another birthday’s looming, with another paper crown;
I’m featured on a coin, but two things mar this jubilee:
I did not meet the Emperor, and he did not meet me.
“Lawyers reportedly found more classified government documents
in Trump’s Florida storage units alongside ‘swords and wrestling belts’“ —Business Insider
More secret documents in Florida—
A team of searchers managed to detect them,
Papers stashed with swords in Florida,
To prove that he stood ready to protect them.
They’re only games but the results can hurt.
Is football coming home? Or not today?
I’m watching England in an Eagles shirt.
And though I schizophrenically assert
it’s football, meaning soccer, it’s okay—
they’re only games. But the results can hurt.
My teams are good, but neither one’s a cert.
It all depends (of course) on how they play.
I’m watching England in an Eagles shirt.
At halftime I switch over, like a flirt
who can’t decide. My sides are up! Well hey!
They’re only games (but the results can hurt).
Then back to football (soccer). Please insert
your accent joke of choice here as I pray,
while watching England in an Eagles shirt.
Thirty-five, ten; three, nil. (Spoiler alert!)
Tomorrow I’ll wake up completely gray.
I know they’re games but these results don’t hurt.
I’m watching England in an Eagles shirt.
