by Paul Lander

Iceland women strike.
Prime minister joins pickets.
Now that’s really cold…

by Bruce Bennett

“Lamb Mowers, billed as the country’s only sheep-led lawn care service,
is munching its way to success.”
—The Washington Post

Mary had a little lawn.
She watered it each day
So much the grass just grew and grew
And grew. “That’s not okay,”

Said Mary, so she made a call
And Lo! Lamb Mowers came,
And now, she has a model lawn.
And you could have the same!

by Alex Steelsmith

“[N]ever get in harm’s way by enticing or provoking a wild bear [to attack] …
You can run afoul of the law as well as the bears if you get too close and end up
paying a fine.”
—CNN

Curious
sightseers,
when they have
barged

into bear
habitat,
sometimes get
charged.

by Philip Kitcher

An ex-Prime Minister shares her wisdom.

The end of party misery?
What I’m inclined to bet is
that, just like me, you too will be
outlasted by a lettuce.

by Nora Jay

“Ancient rock carvings revealed by receding Amazon waters amid drought
Human faces and other figures believed to be up to 2,000 years old exposed
as Brazil river level hits record low”
—The Guardian

The change of climate is a curse, no doubt,
But still, there’s something to be said for drought.
Receding waters resurrect such skill:
Behold, the Bronze-Age Banksy of Brazil!

by Bruce Bennett

“Fourteen articulated skeletons of men, women and children—two positioned as if they were embracing—
have been found inside one of six cells or side rooms” in the ruins of a 5,000-year-old tomb.
—The Guardian

Two skeletons embrace. It’s an old story.
True love companioned with memento mori.

by Bruce Bennett

Jim Jordan, aiming to rule the roost
and give his MAGA hordes a boost,
reached high, reached far, but came up short.
Sometimes it’s wisdom to abort.

by Julia Griffin

“‘Every square inch is covered in life’: the ageing oil rigs that became marine oases”
—The Guardian

Think of the prospects of the ageing rig,
Abandoned in the middle of the sea,
So bare, so gray, so jagged, and so big,
Unwanted even for its former work
Of sucking out the ocean’s muck and murk
To blight the air and doom posterity:

Whoever would have dreamed a thing so dead,
Activists’ ghoul, Big Oil’s discarded toy,
Could bloom into a grove, a busy bed
Of waving tendrils, colored like the dawn,
Where mollusks sprout and cod and rockfish spawn,
And young sea lions soar like shots of joy?

by Iris Herriot

“Man who pretended to be mannequin in Warsaw shop window charged with theft:
Polish police hold 22-year-old accused of stealing jewellery after posing as display dummy”
—The Guardian

My super heist, in retrospect, looks crummy:
I posed inside a store display, because
I thought the staff would take me for a dummy—
Which (also retrospect) it seems I was.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Experts have been left ‘scratching their heads’ at a mysterious humming noise
[reported by] residents of a Leeds estate. … ‘apparently it is worse at night.’”
—Yorkshire Evening Post

The experts work in shifts to find the sound.
They’ve microphones and meters by the score,
But still they aren’t making any ground.
It’s as elusive as it was before.

When each shift ends, they gather to debate
Their methods at the friendly local inn.
They’re often in the bar till very late;
They ponder, “Hmm,” and sip their beer and gin.

by Steven Kent

“CIA admits 1953 Iranian coup it backed was undemocratic”
—The Guardian

Thinking of Al and John Dulles,
Whose labors left millions undone:
The world keeps on turning
While burning and burning
Because of their war that we “won.”

Undemocratic? You think so?
When voters spoke, we said No deal!
BP was quite worried;
The Agency hurried
To make the Shah’s reign appear real.

Next we went south of the border,
Declaring Guzmán had to go.
United Fruit needed
Him out, so we heeded
Their call—Guatemala, hello.

Soon we were dreadfully busy
In Chile and elsewhere, alas.
Crushed many a rise in
The Left, sent our spies in
(With troops, on occasion, en masse).

Seventy years, and we’re finally
Confessing we made a mistake.
Americans? Snowed ’em.
Iranians? Showed ’em
That we choose who catches a break!

by Alex Steelsmith

“Every decade since the 19th century, the average American’s body temperature has declined
from 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit by 0.05 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s probably because we have better
living conditions now than in the past, which reduces inflammation, and therefore body temperature.”
—Motherly

Heltery-sweltery
bodily temperature,
back when conditions of
living were quite

antediluvian
(pre-19th-century),
must have gone up to a
staggering heit.

by Dan Campion

“Sharks Are So Old They’ve Been Around The Galaxy Twice (So Far)”
—IFLScience

Two hundred thirty million years
It takes our spiral arm
To carousel around the hub
Of our galactic wheel.

Of course, one of our apex fears
Would swim to do us harm
From deep time, like a nuke-armed sub,
To make the beach crowd squeal.

No matter where a pilot steers,
No sharks will take alarm;
They’ve seen it all. And here’s the rub:
From Jaws there’s no appeal.

by Chris O’Carroll

“Trump attorney Sidney Powell pleads guilty in Georgia election subversion case”
—CNN

“Release the Kraken!” Sidney Powell
Made that a trending MAGA howl.
Alas, no monster from the sea
Appeared for her. She copped a plea.
Her testimony, say predictions,
Could lead to bigger-fish convictions.

by Bruce Bennett

“Every mascot has its thing. Some dunk. Others flip. As for Ellie the Elephant,
the mascot for the New York Liberty women’s basketball team? She twerks.”
—The New York Times

An elephant twerking?
For Decency’s sake,
is nothing now working?
Give us a break!

We don’t like complaining,
but elephant’s ass?
If that’s entertaining,
please! Give us a pass!