by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Panicking Putin ‘calls up OBESE 280lbs retired general, 67, to lead forces in Ukraine’
after ‘most of his best and battle-hardened senior commanders are killed’ in war”
—Daily Mail

Plump Russian soldiers who are long retired
And drink a quart of vodka every day
Now may, by Putin’s order, be required—
In huge fatigues—to head back to the fray.
Commanders of the Russians in Ukraine
Keep getting killed, or proving that they are
Inept, and getting fired from Vlad’s campaign—
Neurotic panic seems to grip this tsar.
Girth once considered far too large to fight
Protrudes from General Pavel to afford
Ukrainians an easy target site
That Putin surely couldn’t have ignored
In drafting him. What gives? … This guy will show
No stomach for the fight when told to go!