by Stephen Gold

“Lawyers with brain chip implants will be better, faster and cheaper”
—The Times

When matters judicial arise,
It may come as a nasty surprise
To discover one’s brain
Is a source of disdain,
And is far from its optimum size.

For a lawyer who isn’t bionic
Will be cruelly dismissed as moronic.
We shall live in an age
Where one cannot be sage
If one’s noggin is not electronic.

With this chip, I shall reason with ease,
And concoct irresistible pleas.
Though it won’t stop my clients
Exuding defiance
When computing the size of my fees!