by Ruth S. Baker

“Find out when Live Women’s Ashes is on TV”
—Radio Times

O tennis is turgid and baseball’s a bore—
Those tedious catches and smashes;
There’s one sport alone has me thrilled to the core,
And that is the Live Women’s Ashes.

O Novak’s no Djoker and Freeman’s no fool:
Their victories nobody hinders;
But—call me a zombie or call me a ghoul—
I’ll only watch Women’s Live Cinders.

So whack all you want to, or go take a dive
(I’m no more enthused about swimmin’):
Until you are truly extinct (while alive),
I’ll stick to my Live Ashen Women.