by Marshall Begel

More Than a Third of College Students Check Social Media or Text During Sex”
—People

Babe, I love the way you smell
Mr. Beast can go to hell

This way? Okay, watch your knee.
Simp gave up and ghosted me

Need me higher? How is that?
LOL—that zesty cat!

Maybe go a little faster?
Hinge is a complete disaster

Pookie—that’s it—yes, Yes, YES!
Almost done here, SYS

That performance gets a speech—
let me start with eggplant, peach.