by Eddie Aderne

“Prince George’s Education in Limbo as Prince William and Kate Middleton Visit ‘Stuffy’ Eton College”
—Scottish Daily Express

The Waleses are visiting Eton:
They’re frowning, their arms are akimbo;
Would Georgie get stuffy, or beaten?
Perhaps. So they’re looking at Limbo.

It’s awkward to find, I agree, as
No maps show it (even Carl Sagan’s),
But there he can learn from Aeneas,
And other Exceptional Pagans.

Don’t think he’ll just wiggle his belly:
That’s really a silly misnomer;
The place has no cell phones or telly,
Just unbaptized infants and Homer,

So students can focus: Lucrece is
The nearest he’ll see to a bimbo;
Don’t wait, then, until he deceases—
Send Bonnie Prince Georgie to Limbo!