by Stephen Gold

“Harvard fires professor of honesty for ‘being dishonest'”
—The Times

Honesty is always best,
Right-thinking folks agree.
It’s something I have long professed
(Just look at my C.V.)

But honesty is also hard,
On which I now reflect,
As, hoisted by my own petard,
I see my record wrecked.

“Do exactly as I say”
Is sound advice, it’s true,
But even wiser words to weigh
Are “Don’t do as I do.”