by Marshall Begel

“Delhi gets cutouts of langurs to ease [rhesus monkey] menace during G20…
[with] ’30 to 40 people’ who mock their sounds to create the impression
that the animals are alive and moving.”
—Reuters

New Delhi is humming! World leaders are coming
And we need to show them our best!
So we are employing the shrill and annoying
To come out and beat on their chest!

If you are so daring, we’ll pay you for scaring
the monkeys we don’t want around.
Hoot loud as you can as you hide the bananas
To make those pests go underground!

When meetings are ended, the primates offended
Can freely return to our streets,
But please stay nearby because tigers aren’t shy
And we’ll need people acting as meats!