by Nora Jay

“Trump offers scraps of his indictment outfit for $4,699.53 a pop …
The suit, according to the website description, is ‘the most historically significant
artifact in United States history’.”
—The Guardian

Big year-end sale! Step up and beat the crowd!
Behold, complete with holy orange gloss,
Relics™! Forget the Turist Shroud;
That’s so last year, likewise the Truthy Cross.
This is the biggest bargain in the States—
A prize for all who faithfully believe;
Your cut-rate scrap of history awaits,
It won’t cost you an arm to share my sleeve!
Tie-snippets not included in the price.
(You want to haggle? Sorry, folks. No dice.)