by Marshall Begel

“Target gives Santa Claus a ‘weirdly hot’ makeover in viral ad”
—The Independent

There’s a rumor that Santa has got a new look
aimed at middle-aged women, attempting to hook
them with various fanciful products (if bought, he
might list them as someone a little bit naughty).

So, whether you’re needing a hand from an elf or
prefer to go solo (a do-it-yourself-er),
New Santa leaves other stores looking diminished
By guiding your efforts until you have finished.

Forget about sugar plums, milk and a cookie—
This year you’ll have visions of Santa Claus nookie.