by Julia Griffin

“A Baltimore, Maryland, police officer avoided service calls by claiming he was on traffic stops when he was in fact ‘sitting idle in his car,’ according to an indictment filed by city prosecutors. … On one occasion, when Houchins reported being unavailable, he was allegedly ordering a smoothie…”
—The Guardian

The Maryland PD just likes to moan;
The charges filed are frankly overblown.
They allege I’m “sitting idle,”
A complaint at which I bridle:
Inside my car, I’ve orders of my own.

I counter-charge my so-called fellow cops
With strangely misdefining “traffic stops.”
I was driving, then I halted.
I don’t think that can be faulted—
I’m sure I only missed four murders, tops.