by David Hedges

“Dopey annoys Grumpy and Doc on a consistent basis.”
—Wikipedia

Snow White Kayleigh

First thing she did was give the press
Her word that “I will never lie.”
Four minutes later, more or less,
She did, and didn’t bat an eye.

Bashful Rudy

Did Giuliani disappear
Or simply quench his quest for fame?
If he got tossed out on his ear,
Assume that Dopey Don’s to blame.

Grumpy Mike

The Brothers Grimm had Pence in mind
When dreaming Grumpy up. His heart
is cold, his ears are deaf, he’s blind
And can’t stand women, for a start.

Happy Betsy

Hard starboard is the course she steers
As first mate on the Ship of Fools.
If Dopey Don gets four more years,
She’ll do away with public schools.

Doc Anthony

His street cred’s dubious, at best,
Since only Dopey Don knows where
And when and why and what to test,
And how to beat Obamacare.

Sneezy Mitch

He runs his Punch and Judy show
With buggy whip and monkey wrench.
He claims his Russian quid pro quo
Is quite all right, despite the stench.

Evil Queen Ivanka

She spends her time invoking spells
Intended to conceal her wealth.
Her offshore fortune swells and swells;
Her cluelessness betrays her stealth.

Crown Prince Jared

He knows enough to know he knows
Enough to know he’s always right,
And so, like Monty Python, goes
Clip clopping off, an arrant knight.

Dopey Don

He pulls a Joker from his sleeve
When no one blessed with common sense
Would in a million years believe
That anyone could be so dense.

Sleepy Joe

His numbers show it pays to hunker
Like vintage wine upon a shelf,
Sequestered in a basement bunker
While Dopey Don destroys himself.

Barack, the Magic Mirror

He knows what Dopey Don wants most:
To reign upon a golden throne,
To lay to rest his Daddy’s ghost,
And boost his low testosterone.