Poems of the Week

Staying Viral

by Nora Jay

“Chinese woman stuck in blind date’s house by sudden Covid lockdown …
‘I’m getting old now, my family introduced me to 10 matches,’ she said in a video on [the social network Weibo].
‘The fifth date wanted to show off his cooking skills and invited me over to his house for dinner. …
‘During quarantine, I feel that apart from him being reticent like a wooden mannequin,

everything else about him is pretty good. He cooks, cleans the house and works. Although his cooking isn’t very good,
he’s still willing to spend time in the kitchen, I think that’s great,” she told The Paper.
In Wang’s videos, her date is seen serving stir-fry meals such as tomato and scrambled eggs—a popular dish in China.”

Her posts entranced the Weibo gang:
But, trust me, where she’s hosted
We’ll find Ms. Would-Be-Wifey Wang
Less toasted and more roasted.

Though socially, it seems, the dregs,
Her host, once marriage-minded,
Now snarls into his rosy eggs,
Updated and unblinded.

“For days I’ve filled and washed your plate:
You’re greedy and you’re mucky.
You say I’m silent; let me state
That you, therein, are lucky.

“I’ve better ways to spend my day
Than slaving in this kitchen.
Henceforth it’s yours to blanch, sauté,
Or be a Weibo snitch in.”