by Julia Griffin
“We have now found juvenile seals with eels stuck in their noses on multiple occasions.”
—Facebook page of the Hawaiian Monk Seal Research Program
We find this week that youthful seals
Have taken to inhaling eels—
Or else we’re seeing eels spelunk
Their way through seals’ phlegmatic gunk.
There’s photographic evidence
Of something’s loss of common sense,
As humankind (for once some use)
Does all it can to tug them loose.
What is the cause of this new fad?
Perhaps the beasts are going mad;
Or maybe it’s a staged tableau
To show how far both kinds will go.
Remember, though our race supposes
There’s something gross in eels-up-noses,
We’ve found no universal rule
For what the young believe is cool.