Poems of the Week

Teeing Off An Elk

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“An angry elk gored a Colorado man finishing a round of golf over the weekend”

The golfer needs to understand the rut,
Especially when bulls are on the green.
Elks don’t much care if you just want to putt,
If keen to steal their dames is how you’re seen!
No golfer should be ignorant of how
Golf carts sound like a serenader’s tune:
Once bulls believe you’re coveting a cow,
Forget about a quiet afternoon! …
For golfing irons poking from a bag,
Approaching in a golf cart on the grass,
Not only look like antlers to a stag,
Elks fear they’re in the harem-stealing class! …
Lest you be gored by antlers hard as nails,
Keep golf bags out of sight of rutting males!