by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Gardaí [Irish police] suspicious after sudden surge in number of people flying out to Tenerife
for ‘essential dentist appointments'”
—The Irish Post

The Garda wondered why I had to fly:
“Essential travel?” asked he, with a smirk.
“Necessitated by my teeth,” said I—
“Extractions and some other dental work!”
“Requiring you to fly to Tenerife?
I find it hard to swallow!” quipped the cop.
“Faith, so do I! That’s why I need relief,”
Exclaimed myself. “This toothache will not stop!”
“Relief,” pressed he, “comes only if you pay
Exotic dentists? Ireland’s will not do?
Lots more say they have toothache too today—
If you seek sun, I doubt your story’s true!” …
“Examine here,” moaned I, “and feel my pain!” …
“For God’s sake, close your mouth and board the plane!”