by Dan Campion

“Quantum fluctuations can jiggle objects on the human scale”
—Phys.org

Thanks, geniuses at MIT
And NSF: your science
Makes ponderers of girth agree
We’re happiest of clients;

Now when the bathroom scale goes tilt
And our midsection wriggles,
We needn’t suffer doughnut guilt!
It’s quantum flux that jiggles.