by Marshall Cobb
“Hank the Tank, the giant 500-pound black bear who stands accused
of breaking into over 30 Lake Tahoe-area homes in search of food—
often while the residents are still home—may actually be
a three-bear operation.”
—Los Angeles Magazine
The Ursa Major proved to be
Not just a single bear, but three,
Tres osos snuggled in a cave—
And pizza was the thing they’d crave.
They craved it till they couldn’t wait:
No time to stay and hibernate.
And cutting short their wintry snooze,
They ended up on network news.
The wildlife folks said, “What to do?
Euthanize this gluttonous crew?
But surely folks would raise a stink,
So relocation’s best, we think.”