by Julia Griffin

After Kipling

“These Are the Trendiest Dog Names of 2022 …
Fezco … Cassini … Mossberg … Mirabel … Kyna … Mommy … Monka … Tohru … Frederico … Beige”
—Reader’s Digest

Gloom in the Newsroom: the front page needing
Something to draw in the fans:
Same after same, with DeSantis leading,
Fuentes and (Kan)ye’s bans.
“Something’s hitting the airwaves!
Dog names now all the rage:
Write up Kyna, Monka, Frederico, Fezco, and Tohru Beige.”

Joy in the Newsroom: the story trending—
Fox and the Mail are toast,
Four more dog names now contending,
Trouncing the New York Post.
“Item’s conquered the airwaves!
Here’s to our next front page:
Write up Mommy, Mirabel, Cassini, Mossberg, and Tohru Beige.”