by Marshall Begel

“Columbus City school board [prevented] religious organizations… from distributing candy and other items to students”
—Columbus Dispatch

According to this city rule,
We can’t distribute sweets
To advertise our Bible school
And fill the classroom seats.

But how are students of our chapel
Likely to believe
(Without a caramel-wrapped apple)
The yearning felt by Eve?

What teaching tools could better spread
The miracles of Jesus
Than Swedish fish and pumpkin bread?
This law will simply squeeze us!

If handing out desserts must cease,
We’ll use a harder sell—
With words of kindness, friendship, peace,
And everlasting Hell.