Poems of the Week

The Gospel According to Paige Patterson

by Chris O’Carroll

Blessed is the babe who’s stacked
And for wolf whistles ne’er hath lacked.
Each boy who comments on her bod
Is fine by me and right with God.

Blessed is the battered wife
Who stays submissive all her life,
Not seeking a divorce to free
Her from her husband’s tyranny.

Blessed is the girl who’s raped
And whose attacker has escaped
Arrest because her pastor said,
“Don’t tell the cops. Forgive instead.”

But Heaven does not smile upon
Those pushy broads who want me gone.