by Dan Campion

“A 37,000-Year Chronicle of What Once Ailed Us: In a new genetic study, scientists have charted
the rise of 214 human diseases across ancient Europe and Asia.”
—The New York Times

It’s quite a Saga, I will tell you.
No one’s seen such Ills before.
I, Your King, have Cures to sell you,
If you’ll lend my reps the floor.

They’re horrible, those Maladies
Old Left Wings left us. Need Great care? If
So, check out my Remedies.
Buy online now, I’ll waive the tariff.

One thing’s sure: we Kings can Cure.
All ailments simply Fade away
(Except for this or that bone spur).
So order Cure-All merch Today!