Poems of the Week

The President Pardons Himself

by Orel Protopopescu

Let them dig! The world will see
there’s no charge that sticks to me.

List the people that I stiffed,
all the titled toffs I miffed,
all the wives who loved my dough…
(Few were mine, but who’s to know?)
I got ego. I got id.
I forget the stuff I did.

Where’s my sin against mankind?
I’m pre-pardoned. Never mind.

Drag your kids through hill and dale?
You should lose them. Go to jail.
Laws are made to be enforced.
DACA, caca, eat my borscht.
(Not that I like Russian stuff.
Stop the witch hunt. That’s enough!)

No one grills me. I decline.
I’m above all laws but mine.