Poems of the Week

The Testing Game

by Nina Parmenter

In Northern Minnesota, researchers are conducting Covid tests on bears, deer, moose and even wolves
to try to predict the emergence of new variants.

We don’t flinch if we sneeze, we don’t test if we cough.
Got a fever? No sweat! Masks are off!
But it’s different for doe, as they do give a fuck,
and I bet you can’t bullshit a buck.
So it’s clear, now that humans aren’t feeling the fear…
swab a deer.

We do not have the time for that second red line!
Got a cough like a donkey? You’re fine!
But the battle-scarred beasts of the woods, one supposes,
have always put trust in their noses.
Grab the bull by the horns! Now mankind is no use,
swab a moose.