by David Hedges
The military’s newest branch
Is seeking lovely young recruits.
Fox News predicts an avalanche
Of femmes with stunning attributes.
The President himself will choose
The candidates who score the best
In lengthy private interviews.
Then those who pass the swimsuit test
Will train at Mar-a-Lago’s gym
To march in lockstep, two by two,
And sing the U.S.C.S. Hymn,
“Red Lips, White Skin, and Eyes of Blue.”