by Philip Kitcher

“Coffey urges staff to be positive, be precise, and not use Oxford commas.”
—The Guardian

I must offer firm advice:
you should learn to be precise—
good writing’s my priority, you know—
the Oxford comma simply has to go.

My commitment to this post
centers on what matters most:
your style, your syntax, and your sentence flow—
the Oxford comma simply has to go.

Britain’s future may well hang
on your abstinence from slang,
on virtues perfect grammar would bestow—
the Oxford comma simply has to go.