by Iris Herriot

“Family Tortoise Found Alive In Attic 30 Years After Going Missing…”
—LAD Bible

“‘Fantastic giant tortoise’ species thought extinct for 100 years found alive”
—The Guardian

Henceforward, I suggest that tortoises
Should be secured by locks and mortises.
Without some sort of a surveillance system,
We can’t be sure if they’re missing or if we’ve simply missed ’em.
Keeping tortoises jailed isn’t nice, I agree, I’m not generally OK’ing it;
But how can we know if a species is lost as long as our own species keeps on mislaying it?