by Julia Griffin

“‘Santa Claus’ sarcophagus believed to be discovered during excavation project…
The discovery was made at St. Nicholas Church in the Demre district of Antalya,
Turkey, as part of an excavation initiated by Turkey’s Ministry of Culture and
Tourism. The sarcophagus was found in the church’s two-story annex, which is believed
to be the original burial site of Saint Nicholas, a bishop who lived in the ancient
city of Myra during the fourth century.”
—Fox News

’Twas the week before Christmas, and all round the tomb
Stood cameras, ready for watchers on Zoom:
An expert has pinpointed (pause for applause!)
The last-known address of the Saint known as “Claus.”
’Tis he, who dropped dowries through chimneys, and froze
False Arians out with profound Ho, Ho, Ho!s,
Stopped famine, showed Nicaea’s Council the way,
And dodged Diocletian with reindeer and sleigh.
How splendid an Advent adventure to find
The grave of this bishop, the best of his kind!
And the tourism agencies own with a cheer
That Christmas has come one week early this year.