Poems of the Week

Vatican Outlaws Gluten-Free Communion Wafers

by Susan McLean

Body and soul are fed by wheat,
the Bible tells us. Jesus ate
wheat bread, so that’s what we must eat
for him to transubstantiate.

Low-gluten wafers there may be,
so long as they have wheat as well,
but Jesus can’t be gluten free.
You celiacs can go to hell.