by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“More rice, bigger chairs and reinforced toilets: sumo wrestling comes to London”
—The Guardian

When sumo comes to London’s Albert Hall,
Enormity recalibrates all norms
In weighty matters: toilets on the wall
Get reinforced, big chairs are bought, and dorms
Have stronger beds for crucial post-lunch naps—
These beds must take the strain of quite a hulk,
Yet manage for three hours to not collapse.
Men apt to find their monolithic bulk
Abruptly thrust upon close ringside seats
To squash their biggest fans, inflate the charge
That guarantees insurance cover meets
Expenses from their surgeons’ ultra-large
Repairs. But every ticket has been sold—
So sumo wrestling’s worth its weight in gold!