by Julie Steiner

“Sen. Tommy Tuberville Says ‘Deranged’ Furry Culture Is Flight Safety Risk”
—Forbes

Think sky-high gas and groceries
have harmed your sons and daughters?
A greater threat than both of these
is airborne otters!

Your healthcare’s cut, and you’re concerned
by rising mumps and measles?
A bigger plague than those, we’ve learned,
is flying weasels!

An unleashed war-dog President
can’t give ol’ Tommy jitters,
but this does: pilots (some percent)
might dress like critters!

The question all must ask, of course,
when toads cry wolf like that:
“Is what he says just bull or horse—
or ape or bat?”