Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“With half a crown, there’s nothing you can do,”
Intoned my dad when uncles gave me cash,
“Though if you save them till you have a few,
Half-crowns can grow to build a tidy stash—
However, they will never bring a thing,
Alone!” … But did my father lie to me?
Last week I learned what one half-crown does bring:
Fir-loving Bharat Mistry’s neighbors Lee—
Aggrieved by noisy songbirds dropping poo,
Completely blanketing the car on site—
Reshaped his tree by slicing it in two,
Obliterating growth along the right! …
With half a crown, they won’t be tourist-free—
Now half of Sheffield flocks to see this tree!