by Susan Jarvis Bryant

“Don’t Nag Your Husband During Lockdown,
Malaysia’s Government Advises Women”
—NPR

(to the tune of “My Favorite Things”
from The Sound of Music)

Face days with grace
and embrace patriarchy.
Keep chatter perky and never get snarky.
Buff up your halo and fluff up your wings.
Don’t get a knot in your old apron strings.

Pucker and pout
in a slick of pink lipstick.
Cheer him with charm when he acts like a dipstick.
Wear something foxy in fabric that clings.
Don’t get a knot in your old apron strings.

Bake lychee pie
In your sky-high stilettos.
When he makes choices make sure your voice echoes.
Quell bile and temper and monthly mood swings.
Don’t get a knot in your old apron strings.

When he talks tosh,
when his ire stings,
when his ramblings drag—
remember, don’t tangle your old apron strings
and purge the pained urge to nag!