Rob Stuart


The Seven Deadly Sins, Conjugated

I am an independent spirit.
You have issues with commitment.
He is a womaniser.

I have a healthy appetite.
You eat too much.
He is a pig.

I am prudent.
You are tight.
He is a miser.

I understand the importance of maintaining a work-life balance.
You idle.
He slobs.

I don’t suffer fools.
You have a temper.
He goes mental.

I deserve better.
You resent others’ success.
He is a green-eyed monster.

I have a positive self-image.
You are a bit full of yourself.
He is an egomaniac.


Three Clerihews for ECB

Edmund Clerihew Bentley—
Was it he who penned “Do not go gently
Into that good night” or was it Yeats?
This is one of English literature’s least controversial debates.

Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Plotted his detective novels intently,
But the man’s reputation was cemented
By the puerile verse form he invented.

Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Had a son called Nicolas, and that’s
Who drew the pictures for Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.


purpleLRob Stuart is a college lecturer, filmmaker, and writer from London. His many publishing credits include Ink, Sweat & Tears, Lighten Up Online, Magma, New Statesman, The Oldie, Snakeskin, and The Spectator.