Rob Stuart


A Pontiff’s Lot

A pontiff’s lot is not a happy one
As even brief analysis reveals,
Although it must be nice to have a nun
(Or several) to clean and cook your meals.
Admittedly, you also have control
Of Vatican accounts as head of state,
And though you draw no payment for the role,
This money’s yours alone to allocate.
The clothes you have to wear might seem bizarre,
But these are gratis, so you can’t object.
You get a fancy palace and a car
And half the world’s unquestioning respect.
It sounds terrific, doesn’t it? One snag:
You never, ever, get to have a shag.

Rob Stuart was born in Cambridge, England, in 1972. His light verse, visual poetry and short stories have been published in numerous print and online journals around the world.  He has also written the screenplays for several award-winning and internationally exhibited short films. His website is