Robert Schechter



Received phish mail
But he knew it was a trick
When they claimed they could lengthen his Moby Dick.

Was not
Sad his wife looked back. He saw it as an opportunity
For her to become a pillar of the community.

Used to say a
Sword can be beaten into a plowshare,
But exactly how that can come about I wish he would now share.

Robinson Crusoe,
Wistfully regarding his unpacked trousseau,
Said, “I’m approaching do-or-die day!
If I’m not rescued Thursday, I’ll marry Friday.”

Wanted to leave behind the boa,
But God made the rules and wouldn’t be contradicted,
So Noah’s options were constricted.

Said, “Lord, I am
Happy to do your bidding. No bother.”
Isaac said, “Lord, can I have a new father?”

Bob Dylan
Put on tefillin
To demand answers from God, then grinned
When God said, “Zimmerman, have you checked with the wind?”

James Bond
Was famously fond
Of martinis that had been shaken and not stirred,
Though he couldn’t really tell the difference after his third.

Robert Schechter writes children’s poems that appear in Highlights for Children, Cricket, Spider, Ladybug, and The Caterpillar, as well as many anthologies. He also writes poems for adults and was the winner of the 2016 X.J. Kennedy Parody award.