by Clyde Always “Former Attorney General William Barr has a passage in his new book about the lengths his old boss would go to in order to charm guests at meetings.” —Business Insider “Though long the meetings often went, refreshing they would be— as, graciously, the President would serve us in D.C. “Although his television […]
by Clyde Always “Gas stoves leak climate-warming methane even when they’re off” —NPR Reekity, leakity now climatologists gather to kindly in- form us en masse Citizens hoping to rescue the planet who switch to electric are cooking with gas.
by Clyde Always “Queen Elizabeth strips Prince Andrew of royal and military titles… after a Manhattan judge allowed the sexual assault lawsuit against the disgraced royal to move forward.” —New York Post Because his former title proved to be too great an onus, hereafter shall the Duke of York be called “His Sleazy Lowness.”
by Clyde Always “Okay it’s done: We’re ‘fully vaxxed’ and begging on our knees: Can all restrictions be relaxed? Oh, pretty-pretty-please?” “Of course they can, and bless your heart; so glad you understand… Go out and play (two yards apart) with vax cards close at hand. No, wait! Come back! Oh me, oh my! It’s […]
by Clyde Always “Murders of crows are taking over the Bay Area right now” —SFGATE Good news in Berkeley: murders rose! This pleased the fans of counting crows.
by Clyde Always “Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson are dating but taking things ‘extra slow’” —CNN In gossip columns, funnymen have always seemed inferior to hero-types ’til Stoogey Pete snagged Kim’s renowned posterior.
by Clyde Always “‘QAnon Shaman’ Jacob Chansley sentenced to 41 months in prison for role in US Capitol riot … [In court] Chansley… described wanting to live his life like Jesus Christ and Gandhi.” —CNN How fearsome you looked in your horns & your fur & your mug all encrusted in paint… So, maybe a […]
by Clyde Always Some cook’s been shaken to the core— a dozen wings he fried went on to be the motive for attempted patricide!
by Clyde Always “Wife shocked to learn husband’s cadaver dissected at pay-per-view event” —Global News Cadaver donors please beware! I warn with gravest candor: you may be cleaved beyond repair for half-a-grand a gander.
by Clyde Always “A federal court order has determined that the offspring of hippos once owned by drug kingpin Pablo Escabar can be deemed ‘interested persons’ with legal rights in the United States.” —The Hill Though El Patrón we may decry, he’s indirectly done some good allowing for the personhood of bloats of hippopotami.
by Clyde Always According to Governor Abbott Joe Biden is being unjust and only a bully, dagnabbit, would mandate what businesses must. And so, like a little kid dueling, Ole Greg, in a bit of a rant… has issued a similar ruling to mandate what businesses can’t.
by Clyde Always If carbon emissions can make you upset, your quarrel’s with anyone breathing… Miss Thunberg’s new tirade (her quippiest yet), left many a world leader seething. To chide them, she found (as the teenagers do) repetitive syllables fitting. Did Greta not realize how much CO² she blah blah blah blah was emitting?
Featured PoetCatherine Chandler Spotlight: Catherine Chandlerby Alfred Nicol Book Reviewsby Barbara Egel Poems by…Felicia Nimue AckermanBrian AllgarClyde AlwaysAnna J. ArredondoBruce BennettJerome BettsLaura J. BobrowAnne Marie BrownDan CampionMonica CarlyJ.P. CeliaMaryann CorbettCheryl CoreyAlfred CornPat D’AmicoToby DevensKatherine EdgrenDaniel GalefLewis M. GedimanJulia GriffinMia Schilling GroganMax GutmannAnthony HarringtonJohn HarrisBrittany HauseRobert JacksonHank JohnsonStephen KampaJohanna KellerSteven KentJenna LeBruce McGuffinBob McKentySusan McLeanMike Mesterton-GibbonsDiane […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Wardrobe Change (To the tune of “On Top Of Old Smokey“) On top of Mt. Washmore,Mid stockings and sleevesI mixed up my laundryWith some bags of dead leaves.I left those bags curbsideOn that fateful day,And watched till a truck cameAnd took them away. I looked in my closet,I searched on […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Lewis Carroll addresses the shade of Mr. W.S. “You are old—nay, deceased!—Mr. William,” he said,“And four hundred winters have passed,Yet although you’re long dead, you are still widely read—Do you think such distinction can last?” “In my youth,” said the Bard, “I would tipple and lust,Giving never a thought to […]