Running for Sonnet
Vote for my opponent and you’ll see…
Huge tax increases. Major waste and fraud.
He doesn’t know Taipei from Tennessee!
His whole domestic policy is flawed.
And look at him. His weasel little face.
Could you imagine this guy running things?
He’s got no statesmanship. He lacks the grace.
The free world can’t afford his bumblings.
I—let me finish, please—I pledge to serve.
To help the poor, the hungry and the sick.
To be the Prez you citizens deserve
And never Twitter pictures of my dick.
We’re out of time, so vote for me, OK?
My flag pin’s on! God bless the USA!
Why is this night different from all other nights?
On other nights, we eat Wonder Bread,
but on this night, we eat very specific crackers and complain about them.
On other nights, we probably don’t eat any vegetables,
but on this night, we might eat some parsley. Or we might not.
On other nights, we drink an average of 2.6 glasses of soda,
but on this night, someone brings a bottle of Manischewitz, but nobody drinks it.
On other nights, we eat on the couch or in the car,
but on this night, we actually eat around a table. If we have any Jewish friends.
If not, I don’t know, maybe somebody from temple will invite you. Just try not to seem desperate.