Terminal Jocosity
He sat by the side of my bed and looked sad.
“Would you like the good news,” he asked, “or the bad?”
“Just give me the bad news, Doc. Don’t make me guess.”
“I fear you’ll be gone, sir, in six months or less.”
I stiffened my sinews and tried to look strong.
This man seemed so certain, but could he be wrong?
“The good news then, Doctor, what have you to tell?”
Dear God, even now, was there hope I’d be well?
He paused for a moment (it felt like a week),
Then flashed me a grin as he started to speak.
“The good news,” he said, with a tact you can’t teach,
“Is first thing tomorrow, I’m off to Palm Beach.”
Stephen Gold was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and practiced law there for almost 40 years, robustly challenging the notion that practice makes perfect. He and his wife, Ruth, now live in London, close by their disbelieving children and grandchildren. His special loves (at least, the ones he’s prepared to reveal) are the limerick and the parody. He has over 700 limericks published in OEDILF.com, the project to define by limerick every word in the Oxford English Dictionary, and is a contributor to Lighten Up Online. Over the years, he has had wins in the limerick and parody contests of the Washington Post Style Invitational (now The Invitational), though his major achievement has been to lower the average IQ of its devotees.