Why pay a deposit and go it alone
when the toilets at home scrub themselves,
and the dishes are washed and the grass neatly mown
by a team of industrious elves?
Why let your paycheck and youth go to waste,
when the labor here’s cheap and dependable,
and the local fare’s free, and it’s much to your taste,
and your time and your income’s expendable?
Why risk a new landlord who might change your locks
when your soft-hearted hosts aren’t so clever?
Complain that they’ll force you to live in a box,
and you’ll keep your free Wi-Fi forever.
Stephen Scaer is a special education teacher in New Hampshire with poems published in Highlights for Children, Cricket, National Review, Light, and First Things, and the Author of Pumpkin Chucking, published by Able Muse Press.