Toby Devens


He’s Wrong

He’s absolutely wrong for me
Impossible, erroneous
He’s much too bright, he talks all night
Besides, he’s sanctimonious

He works too hard, he spends too much
He flirts and hurts my feelings
He salts his food
He ruins my mood
He’s into shady dealings

He hates my friends, they don’t love him
He’s stultified and staid
He snores, he bores
He has big pores
He wears his collars frayed
He drinks and smokes, tells awful jokes
He gives me indigestion
And do I love him more than life?
Without question.

Toby Devens writes poetry and mainstream women’s fiction. Her first book was a poetry collection, Mercy Lord, My Husband’s in the Kitchen: And Other Equal Opportunity Conversations with God (Doubleday). It was called “beguiling” by People magazine. Her debut novel, My Favorite Midlife Crisis (Yet) was followed by two more: Happy Any Day Now and Barefoot Beach (Penguin Random House). Recently she’s returned to her first literary love and is working on a collection of poems. The Best is Yet to Be: And Other Lies (and Truths) About Growing Older takes a humorous look at the trials and triumphs of aging. Her writing has appeared in popular magazines and poetry journals.