by Julia Griffin

“Emergency services are currently dealing with a single vehicle [collision] on the A381 by the South Milton turn where a car has overturned.
The driver stated he swerved to avoid an octopus. He is currently in custody on suspicion of drug driving.”
—Kingsbridge Police Report

He thought he saw an octopus
Reposing on the road;
He looked again, but not before
He’d too abruptly slowed,
And consequently overturned
And breached the Highway Code.

He thought he saw a kangaroo
Reciting from a text;
He looked again, and found it was
A judge, distinctly vexed,
Who sentenced him to kick the drugs
And change his glasses. Next!