by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

Britannia does not rule the waves these days.
Raj India’s been gone near eighty years.
And Brexit has left Brits in deep malaise.
However, they take solace in their beers!
Much Tory talk of taking back control,
Securing major trade deals planet-wide
And winning big has scored a huge own goal—
No wonder Brits carouse till bleary-eyed!
Diminished greatness sobers no one’s brain:
League tables show that Britons now are low
In world prestige. They drink to ease their pain:
Scotch numbs the shock of letting status go …
Zonked Brits, though, top their league—in their blue funk,
The Brits are Number One at getting drunk!

*Which means, in Cockney rhyming slang…